MONEY IN THE BANK thoughts (rating scale is out of 4 stars)
WOMEN’S MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH
Carmella def. Lynch, Flair, Natalya, Tamina
This was somewhat tepid, fairly short (13m20s) for such a match with a bullshit booked finish.
MY PREDICTION: Flair or Natalya
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
The New Day def. The Usos by countout
This was a good, solid match all told until another dumb fuck finish that saw The Usos just give the match up, pick up their title belts and walkout of the match to retain via countout. Fuck these finishes so far! Are the bookers high on that good ish?
MY PREDICTION: The Usos
WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Naomi def. Lana
Another tepid women’s match. Carmella and Ellsworth came out and teased cashing in her ill-gotten gains twice during the match, but ultimately didn’t do it. This match could have happened on Smackdown.
MY PREDICTION: Naomi
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Mahal def. Orton
Finally we get to an actual good match! The entrances for both guys were really milked and they were fun. Mahal recieved really good heel heat during his entrance which always makes me smile. Most of the match was Orton selling a hurt left knee after taking a fall to the outside early on which resulted in a very good methodical destruction of said knee by Mahal. It was a very old school, grounded match. Singh Brothers interferred (of course) after Orton hit an RKO on Mahal by putting Jinder’s foot on the ropes. Referee ejects them from ringside for this. The Singhs then try to intimidate Bob Orton at ringside which leads to Randy destroying them similar to Payback which ultimately leads to Mahal hitting Orton with The Khallas and The Modern Day Maharaja retains his championship. I think this is Mahal’s best match I’ve seen so far and the performance he really needed.
MY PREDICTION: Mahal
TAG TEAM MATCH (unscheduled)
Breezango def. The Ascension
A Fashion Files segment came on even though Breezango wasn’t on the card, but after a bit of humor (they had an ’80s style cell phone that was labeled as “Property of Paul E.”) a match was set up by the supposed people who trashed their police station and beat up Breeze last week which ended up being the return of The Ascension. I have no experience watching them, but the match was OK, but was short and could have been done on Smackdown.
MY (IMPROMPTU) PREDICTION: Breezango
MEN’S MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH
Corbin def. Styles, Nakamura, Ziggler, Zayn, Owens
I don’t think I can convey much of any details about this match because of how many people were in it and how long it went on for, but it was the best match of the night! One thing I will mention is that Corbin attacked Nakamura during his entrance which meant Shinsuke gone for most of the match. Later when Nakamura made his triumphant return, there was Kinshasas a plenty to go around! Styles took multiple sick bumps onto ladders in the middle and later he and Nakamura had a great little showdown. Ziggler at one point hit Zayn off the ladder with a Zig Zag. I think I remember somebody getting destroyed by Corbin with a Deep Six. Definitely watch this and the WWE Championship match, but skip the rest.
MY PREDICTION: Corbin
As you can tell, Money In The Bank 2017 as a whole was a pretty big shitshow with 2 good matches and a bunch other shit stinking up the place. Watch Mahal/Orton and Men’s MITB.
PPV RATING: ★★